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Mommy to a toddler

Talking Parrot – 3

August 25, 2014
Crazy days, crazier nights! No wonder I have not come back to this space for almost 3 months now. 3 months and I must have got at least 13 posts saved in my drafts folder and another 30 in my must-blog-on-this list but damn… this daily madness of my life. A detailed post on what’s keeping me on my toes these days in another post later. For now, let me come back to yet another anecdote in my Talking Parrot series.
Yesterday it was one of those very tiring days; by night I was literally dragging myself to finish the daily chores. It was almost midnight and little one wanted to play basketball at that hour! Oh yes, craziness like these are normal affair in my household now. I have no idea from where does he gets all this energy, I have concluded that he runs on a battery and that too something more powerful than Duracell… chalta hi jaye, chalta hi jaye types. Anyways coming down to the talking parrot series, here’s a replication of the late night conversation between Mumma & Ni:
Ni: Mumma, tya hua? Abhi thelo na piliizzzz. Pilizz, pliiiiiizzzz (He uses “T” for “K” in hindi, so thelo is actually khelo in his language as of now :))
Me: (With a very tired expression), Not now Ni. Kal subah khelte hai
Ni: (Upset & silent with a pout, looks at me intently)
Ni again: Mumma tya hua? Tum thatt dayi ho (Tum thak gayi ho)?
Me: (with a sad face) Haan beta, bahot thak gaye hai. Sach mein
Ni runs to the fridge, comes back with something in his fist & asks me to sit down.
Ni: Mumma idhal aao, neeche baitho ne et (ek) min mere paas
Me: Haan baith gaye, bolo kya hua?
Ni immediately opens his fist, shows me some grapes and brings one to my mouth saying: Mumma ye grapes tha lo, tumhara sab thatt theet ho jayega, fruit thane se hum strong bante hai na (Mumma, ye grapes kha lo, tumhara sab thak theek ho jayega, fruit khane se hum log strong bante hai na. Of course it was me who was giving me this gyaan on eating fruits the same evening). 
And lo, Mumma was suddenly all awwww & oooo & teary eyed & lumpy throat! The next moment Mumma ate that grape and hugged him in her cheerful “ole mela beta” mood. Trust me just one grape fed by those tiny little hands and with a face full of innocent love were sufficient enough to charge me for another hour to play many rounds of basketball & football matches with him.

At times I wonder if moments like these are sudden or seeded in life. As they come unexpectedly on days when you’re really down or frustrated. And one such moment, just one is sufficient enough to make you realize that all this effort is worth it. Totally, absolutely worth it! :). Thank you God for this blessing in life!

Motherhood & Guilt (Talking Parrot – 2)

January 31, 2014
Last day of the first month of 2014! Wow, time flying, running and what not. So, what’s up with you all? Hope you had a great start to the new-year.

Well for me, life’s going on with more hiccups but some fun too, busier but with new learning too, tougher but with more… errm wait, what’s my life if it’s not tough. Don’t remember when was the last time that it was simple, or as per plan or easy. But whatever it is, it’s going on. More on some key changes in my life this year in my next post. As of now, I’m back with my talking parrot series with the little one :).

Early morning I was standing in the balcony when suddenly I heard the gas lighter being clicked. Surprised I wondered who was in the kitchen, as husband had gone for his morning run and little one was sleeping. Immediately I rushed inside only to be completely horrified by what I saw next. The little dude had pulled a small stool near the kitchen slab, stood on it, had switched on the gas burner and was clicking the lighter from a distance. Oh god! I can’t explain how scared I got for a moment. Immediately I pulled him down, switched off the knob and got mad at him. I shouted for good a minute or two I think – “why didn’t you call me when you woke up, why do you try to do things which are beyond your age, kuch ho jata toh, oh god why can’t he sit peacefully even for a minute, how can a two-year old be so difficult to deal with, blah blah blah & some more blah”.
When I was done with my shouting, little one climbed up on stool again and innocently asked me:

He: Mumma Tai peeogi?
Me: What?
He: Tai Tai (Chai).
Me: Dumbstruck I looked at him silently
He: Aaj Ni Mumma te liye Tai banayega!
Once again I don’t think I can express it in words how I felt at that moment. With welled up eyes, guilt within, I looked at his innocent expression. And within seconds my emotions took hundred and eighty degree turn! Thousands of thoughts flashing across my mind – why wasn’t I more patient, why did I get irritated without trying to understand what he was trying to do and many more… Gawd, motherhood is one hell of a complicated thing. Apart from making your emotional gland hyperactive, it also makes this emotion known as “guilt” super productive. You do whatever, this damn guilt doesn’t leave you at peace!
While the sensible brain told me that I reacted for all right reasons, after all within few seconds something really bad could have happened with that gas stove on but the emotional side kept on telling me – has anyone ever offered you tea in the morning since you left your mom’s house? Wasn’t it the sweetest thing a two year old could think of doing for you? It was, it really was…