optimism

Have finally let go of it…had to do it. Evaluated the priorities of my life and finally took this call. At times I’m repenting my decision whereas at times I’m thinking, it was just another opportunity…when we can bear the loss of the most loved ones, what is there in a missed opportunity? Yes, it was a very lucrative one, something which was really-really nice but still I decided to let it go in a hope to fulfill some larger objectives of my life. Those objectives after which I’m running for months now but with no result! Those objectives which have made me miss some equally attractive opportunities in past few months but still I want to run after this one as somewhere I think in the long run this one is more important for life. I’ve no idea if I’m doing right or wrong, no idea if I will get similar kinda opportunities in future but still I’m missing these with a hope that my decisions will prove to be right someday & things will turn out better. “Hope for better” is all I can think of in such a state of mind. Yes I’m apprehensive, anxious, worried, confused, depressed, feeling low & negative too…you heard it right; I’m feeling negative and not positive towards things right now! I’m not sure how am I supposed to feel optimistic about life when despite all my efforts, things are just not turning the right way for years now. And for a change I don’t wanna follow the bandwagon of “pseudo-optimism”. I want to accept my real feelings and the realities they way they are right now.

The last two weeks of my decision making phase has made me more & more contemplative towards so many things. Be positive! Optimistic raho toh sab theek ho jayega! Don’t regret! Always look on the brighter side of life! Never repent your decisions in life! Whatever happens is for good, so always think positive in life! Indecisiveness and confusions are the traits of feeble minds, strong ones take a decision & move on! Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah….Every other person whom I meet these days speaks no less than any motivational guru and out of all, the crowns for the most used (or shall I say abused) buzzwords definitely go to…OPTIMISIM & DECISION MAKING. I’m also aware that there are some colleagues, relatives, formal friends and professional acquaintances who read my this blog now (thanks to Google, finding this link is quite a simple task) and somehow this realization had actually let me become conscious of topics to be posted on my blogs for past few months. Honestly speaking there are times when I’ve written a post but have not posted thinking, “oh, this post might make me sound like a negative person” or “am I the only one who is so indecisive in life, rest all seem to be so confident & positive.” But somehow today I don’t feel like restricting myself from posting this one even if I’m aware that this will project me as a confused personality who gets depressed at times in life. I don’t think there is anything wrong in that. In fact the recent mantra of “forever optimistic” or “assume a crap to be candy & it will turn into a candy” is something which I don’t buy in. I have had arguments with people on realism vs. optimism and the other side has always won saying, “positive sochne se achcha hota hai” or “go with the flow & life will be fine”…well, does it really? If you’re aware that the flow which you are going along with is going to end in pits, then why not change your course before hand, why optimistically wait for the pit to get converted in a straight road? If you’re on a crossroad where both directions seem to be equally appealing & both are sort of life changing directions for you, then how are you not supposed to be indecisive & confused about it? Positive thinking is fine but it DOES NOT & CAN NOT help you in all situations. I have so many case-in-points where I have seen my thinking getting true but somehow have not been able to voice it loudly as my concerns are generally being taken as unnecessary apprehensions. Call me cynical but I do think (& strongly so) that this term “optimism” & the theory of “prove the world that you’re confident” are just too overrated. I have enough case studies and examples to elaborate the same & I will definitely do so in one of my subsequent posts when I will have more time to write a long one for I do feel that terms like “optimism (prefix: pseudo)”, “confidence (prefix: forced)”, “decision making (prefix: irrational)” are doing more bad than good to many of us.