Distracted.
Lost.
Anxious.
Blank.
Worried.
Dazed.
Oh, this feeling of nothingness.
And the state of being numb.
The last two months have been insane due to many reasons. I don’t remember being this distracted in my life ever. And just when I thought to begin a new month with new hope, I got the news of yet another death of a very close friend back home in India. This is painful and insane.
The pandemic has been more brutal than imagined. Every day, the morning starts with death messages from friends and family. Personal feed on social media is full of RIP posts. I have stopped sending condolence messages, as I do not know what to type anymore. Elderly parents losing their children, young children losing both sets of parents, siblings, spouses, friends, family members, colleagues… so many gone. In a blink of an eye.
It’s difficult to understand whose pain is more. The ones who struggled to breathe during their final moments. Or, the ones left behind, trying to find their breath for the rest of their lives.
It’s like life delayed for everyone. And life paused for many.
I remember last year I had written a few posts on restoring normalcy post lockdown. How naive and over-ambitious I was! It’s been more than a year now, and I don’t see normalcy anywhere in sight. In fact, I think the old normal won’t be back at all. And the new normal won’t be easy for many.
Sometimes, in life, we don’t have any option other than to just face the storm. I remind myself every day that no storm lasts forever. I just hope and wish we find the strength to weather this storm.
I hope we find the peace and we find the calm.
