Well, this post is bit cynical. I know it exudes negativity but still can’t help it…I think I’m going through one such phase of life where God has decided to challenge my own convictions and shake my strongest beliefs. When I thought the worst which could happen to us was
Kishu’s death, God decided to prove me wrong. Well, there are things which can be worse than his death and can very much happen in my life anyday, anytime! When I thought things are at its toughest and soon I will get to see the brighter side, God decided to put me to trials tougher than toughest, to situations which I never even imagined I could bear…and it’s not that I’m not trying to face the problems or not fighting against it, have always done so ever since my childhood and still doing it but then I think almost everybody reaches a point where you just want to know two things –
“what else” & “till when”! I also know there are many who might have been facing worse than me and there are many who can still manage to maintain their calm but for me I’m at a stage where no positive word or theoretical gyaan can actually soothe me anymore. If anything, these so called inspirational words just make me feel worse…wrote the following words few days back in one of my scornful moods after being bugged up by three consecutive calls from relatives who just do not know anything apart from imparting hypothetical gyaan on how only I’m responsible for the direction in which my life will move ahead! Revisited it again today after yet another similar call. Well giving gyaan is one thing and going through these tribulations is just another…only those who experience the situation know how difficult at times it gets to maintain your calm and sanity in front of others despite the storm and calamity which you have been going through internally…
Life: They Say…Then Why!
They say,
That every dark cloud has a silver lining,
Then why this one is eternally darkening?
That there is a light at the end of every tunnel,
But what if the journey within is just too agonal!
That the toughest and strongest often lead the league,
But can’t the strongest have their moments of fatigue?
That in all things it is better to hope than to despair,
What if the hope is smashed and shattered beyond repair?
That think positive and everything will be fine,
Tried it; many a times but life is just on a continual decline!
– Kanupriya
This does not mean that I have lost my faith completely, neither do I believe that things will never be fine for me…It’s just that I think it’s better to lie low and let the tide flow when tide is totally against you and refusing to get slow. Trying to swim when the tide is against is just making me more and more exhausted.
Renu
I wish that this phase passes soon,I can so much understand whtever you must be feeling, because sometimes I also feel this ..till when god? but his ways are different, we ppor things cant know about them.
Iya
i Pray to god that this phase passes quickly. i pray to god to give you the strength and love to brave all this.
lots of hugs and lots of love. Take care dear.
Scribbler
you're absolutely right that giving gyan is one thing and going through the bad phase another…
no gyaan from me..just plain and simple hugs ! You're brave and you'll sail through …
the last paragraph is so true and wise…I shall keep that in mind…
HUGS again kanu !!
Raam Pyari
i hope the memories of the good times remain clear…thats all we have left of people who leave us and go…
Jack
Kanupriya,
Wearer of the shoe only knows where it pinches. Share what is weighing on your mind, if you wish to. May be I could offer some options. Sometimes solution is there but with our clouded mind we miss to see it. On the previous post, we are go through the same rat race. I was fortunate to learn how to keep abreast with work and at the same time have time to myself. One thing which helped me was that after initial year or so I worked for my own satisfaction and it did help me a lot. It also taught me a great lesson. While talking to our children I never compared them with any of their peers or even each other right from their childhood. We let them grow without any pressure. I fully believe in WORK HARD AND ENJOY HARDER.
Take care
Kanupriya
Thanks all, hoping to sail through this as well!
Anonymous
Have come to your blog after a long time n read this now…Hope n pray all is well now…u take care…