Chan ke aayi toh kya chandni toh mili…

Whether I’m hitting the gym regularly or not but life definitely seems to be running on a treadmill these days and that too at a speed no less than 10 mph! Huffing and puffing I try to catch up with the pace, but the damn treadmill shifts its mode often making me juggle between one mode to another so frequently. Last few weeks have been quite eventful in many senses, while health wise I’m not at all keeping well, yet had some delightful moments with family and friends. Holi was fun with both sides of families and so was the trip to Ooty & Conoor with in-laws kin. Work is hectic as usual but then I’m loving what I’m getting to do as of now. Moments of disappointments and frustrations continue but life has also offered some newer moments of happiness and joy… and as always I was so engrossed in dealing with mayhems that totally forgot to rejoice over few moments of happiness and glee. In fact one of them was long due, something which I so badly wanted at one point of time but then due to other priorities, the focus got lost on the way. And there was no option to re-look or adjust my priorities at that time, so I decided to let it go. But silently it comes one day when I was least expecting it…made me happy and my near ones very-very happy. Though the happiness was not same for me as it would have been at that time when I wanted to get it. Why? It isn’t that the importance of ‘that moment’ has been reduced, neither has its significance to me or others in my life. I think it’s just that most of the times we are busy on focusing at other moments and ignore the positive ones which come silently & stand at our doors. Or maybe the world has become so loud and noisy these days with enough of announcements projected as big that at times you fail to listen to your own ones and forget to acknowledge or appreciate even the ones which might be genuinely big to you.

Was speaking to an old uncle who is sort of close to me, is highly learned and has a very matured outlook towards life. He asked me on why didn’t I update him earlier about some of the positive happenings in life and I replied – “just generally, ab ismein kya batana”. And here is what he had to say – No moment of happiness is a small moment. When you can grieve for bigger losses in life, learn to acknowledge and celebrate your own bigger moments of happiness as well. Enjoy what you have right now as nobody more than you now knows that what is there today may not be there tomorrow.

Not that he said anything new or not known to me, but at times you need an external force to remind you of such things at the right time. And I get reminded of one of my favorite songs yet again 🙂 –

छन के आयी तो क्या चांदनी तो मिली,
चंद दिन ही सही ये कली तो खिली,
शुक्रिया ज़िन्दगी, शुक्रिया ज़िन्दगी
तेरी मेहेरबानियाँ, तेरी मेहेरबानियाँ

I just LOVE this song and oh yes, thank you life for some nice moments too 🙂

Happy Holi!

HOLI is here! Good thing this time is that my both sides of family are in Bangalore. So, Holi is going to be fun this year…. I don’t remember when was the last time we had a holi happily together. I’m looking forward to the festivity with family & friends. Not to forget the privilege of enjoying cross cultural Holi special delicacies being cooked by my Mom & MIL :). Bad part is that Holi is on a Sunday & we missed one holiday, else we would have got one more holiday for “holi”day. And sad part is that with any festival around, we miss Kishu and Amitesh Bhaiya more and more and more … any enjoyment or celebration can never be complete without them. Never, Ever! But we will celebrate the festival this time – from inlaws side, this will be first holi for my sister-in-law at our place after her marriage and from my side this will be my first holi with my mom after my marriage :). So, HAPPY HOLI to my family, friends, blog readers & my well-wishers.

Wish you a very colorful & vibrant holi. May god gift you all the colors in life – colors of joy, colors of happiness, colors of friendship, colors of love, colors of success and all other colors which you want to paint your life with.
Play safe & have fun!

Wordless Wednesday: Flowers in love

This particular rose plant in my balcony definitely seems to be quite romantic at heart. Whenever there has been a bloom in this plant, it has always been in pair. Don’t these flowers look like as if they are in love 🙂 ?

Taking It Easy

I read a column by Pritish Nandy in Bangalore Times yesterday titled – “Taking it easy”. Not sure if it was my yesterday’s contemplative mood or the relevance of the article which made me like this one so much. Word by word, I found it to be so significant and applicable to lives of many of us.

A piece from the article
: “We pay fees for clubs we seldom use, gyms we never visit, doctors we have no faith in, time share resorts we will never go to. It’s all part of the same syndrome. Keeping up with those who you think are better off than you. It could be a friend, a neighbor or that guy in the office you hate the most. You want what he has without figuring whether you really need it. Or even want it. That’s why our homes are crammed with stuff we have grown out of. That stupid music system no one uses because we each have our own iPods. Those ridiculous sneakers we bought that promised to tone our butts as we walked or that joke of a cream that claimed to stop ageing. We are idiots, blindly responding to the stimuli of commercial messaging.
Is it possible to get off this treacherous treadmill? It is. The answer lies in breaking the sameness, deconstructing the routine of our lives, finding new things to do. None of this costs money. What costs money is staying on the treadmill, constantly running. Migrating from your Nokia to a Blackberry may be expensive but leaving it at home and hanging out at the local bookshop is not. No, it doesn’t diminish you if you carry last season’s LV or drive a Nano. You don’t have to afford that paint job in your house every Diwali. Instead, frame those family pictures and hang them up. You may recall many lovely memories that a spotless wall can’t offer. Skip some episodes of Bigg Boss; learn to play the guitar instead. Drop that Ceasar’s salad; try a vada pao. It won’t wreck your diet plan. Even if it does, it won’t matter as long as you’re happy. Feed a street dog. Buy a flute from that young flautist outside the Jehangir. Go trekking. Skip the newspaper. Stroll in a park.”

Sameness, scheduled and stressed…ain’t most of the working young people experiencing the same? Baring a few, I think to whomsoever I speak these days have to say almost similar things about their lives. Speaking about me, I have been going through millions of questions in my mind for past few days. Some spinning around this article and many in different other trajectories.
To think of it, it’s now 7. 5 years for me in Corporate career, don’t remember having even 7.5 days of my own every since I started working way back in mid of 2003. Yes, same rat race every day, every week, every month and every year. Did gain a lot in career but then did I get even few days of my own to sit back, relax and think…well no! Did take some short vacations too but most of them were spent running back to my home town, then after marriage it was in-laws house and if nothing else then managing different tragedies which kept on happening one after another. I try to think more and no, I don’t remember having even a week’s off which was just for me and myself! There are books all around me now but no time to read, so many places which I wanna see but no time to go, those dream holidays which I can afford now but no time to take off, those yum food which I always wanted to try but health does not permit now to do so, that strong desire to just go out and laze around in the warmth of sun on those bright sunny days but then it’s yet another weekday, that……….well I think I can list down some endless desires which most of the times end with but, but and some more buts. And I also know it’s not just me, it’s many like me who go through the same every day. Where’s that thing known as “Taking It Easy” gone for us? And will it ever come back? Well……..

Don’t miss to read the complete article by Pritish Nandy here.

This year’s Diwali

This Diwali was indeed special for me; I got to celebrate it with my Mom after 16 years! Yup, after sixteen years to be precise. Earlier it was education & hostel life, then job & then marriage… Mom used to so rightly say it earlier – ek baar beti ghar se nikal gayi toh phir nikal hi gayi, shayad wapas nahi hi aa paogi tum (though this is true for sons also these days as most of them have to stay away from their parents because of job & career demands). She was so right, I stepped out of my home when I was a child only, had to go for residential school & hostel life because of lack of good schools in my area, add to that the nature of job of my parents. Since then never got the chance to go back and stay there. Staying at home meant going there for few days during vacations. Then job and married life further reduced my home trip duration from “few days” to “very few days”. Now staying there has just become a distant memory. With Kishu & Amitesh Bhaiya gone, in fact now I feel scared to go back to my own home only. The memories of both of them attached with that place haunt me more when I see those rooms, garden, study racks, aangan and everything else where we had spent our childhood together. Suddenly their absences from our lives seem more real & more painful. Last two festive seasons consecutively were spent in mourning, 2008 Amitesh Bhaiya left us & 2009 it was Kishu. So, this year when we all (me, my husband, my mom & my youngest brother) got to spend this festive season together at Bangalore, it was really-really a different feeling for us. One it was some festival before which nothing bad had happened and second we all were together. Festivals will never be the same and celebrations will never be complete without Kishu & Bhaiya but at least I’m happy that we got to spend this day together and that too peacefully and nicely. Thank God for little mercies in life! After all that has happened continuously for last so many years with us, I at times get scared to feel happy over nice moments too.

Hope you all had a great Diwali too, best wishes to all my readers for the upcoming festivals of this year. Will be back with more posts very soon 🙂

Kishu’s B’day with Santosh Charity

19th Sept was b’day of Kishu and this year’s 19th Sept was the second one without him in our lives. Everybody says “life moves on” and yes even I agree now that life moves on but then it never moves on like earlier. There is no salve which can heal this pain, no moment or object of happiness which can overcome this grief and no rationalization of thoughts which can let you accept this reality. Yes, things are moving ahead but not even a single day passes without remembering 5th Feb 2009 and things associated along with it. I don’t think I can ever describe how it feels esp. on days like these…You keep on thinking whether to cry at the loss or mourn the fact that we will never be able to even listen to his voice even for a second, forget about being with him or celebrating his special day together the way we used to do it earlier. But then it’s his b’day and whether he is with us or not, at least we should be thankful for this day as because of this day only we got to spend 27 memorable lovely years together. Mom was as always inconsolable but when we insisted her to express instead of keeping the grief within herself, this is what she had to write about this day. Though honestly speaking both me and Mom know that it’s not possible to express the exact feelings associated with Kishu or his absence from our lives in words…it’s just NOT possible!

Like last year, this year also I decided to spend the day with kids at Santosh Charitable Trust and as earlier they really made the day special for me & Kishu. The way the sing b’day songs for him or the way they celebrate this day with me, I think if Kishu is around somewhere, hopefully he would like the way his day is being celebrated.


It is one place which has really got a special place in my heart, a place which redefines the meaning of orphans or special kids. It’s an orphanage run by few noble souls who are doing it selflessly just to provide a better life and education to those kids. Total strength of the orphanage now is close to 55 (including staffs) and the financials are mainly based on the voluntary donations collected from working professionals, organizations and some authorities. Unlike other similar places, this one is really different. First the way they are transparent with their expenses, collections etc. you know that your money is in safe hands; secondly you need to meet the kids to understand this self urge towards donating money for them. I mean the way they talk, the way they introduce themselves or the way they all describe their ambition in life – with gleam in their eyes, clear goals and zeal to achieve the same! Not even a slightest trace of that becharapan or self pity in anyone of them. When you see them working so hard to realize their dreams, you on your own feel the need to do something for them which can help them in some ways and in return give you this unparalleled satisfaction of doing your bit towards them. Even my association with them is just one and half years old but trust me at least for this place nobody pesters me to contribute anything, it’s my internal conscience which tells me to do so. And thankfully I’m surrounded with few likeminded friends who also have been contributing to this place on their own.

Do check out their website – http://www.santoshcharity.org/ for more details about them and if anyone of you is keen to help these kids in having a better future, you can contact me or contact the numbers mentioned on their website. They do provide all authentic receipts for your contribution and money is utilized primarily in the education and overall personality development of the kids. Don’t think about the amount, every penny is important for them. I don’t have any personal association with the trust and this post is no enforced marketing campaign on their behalf. I do it out of my own will as I know that every bit of contribution is important for them.

Of driving, men drivers & women drivers

In the whole history of mankind, have you ever, ever, ever met a man driver who can actually apologize to a woman driver saying it was his mistake??? I actually met one today, it was a very small mistake yet he apologized & that too on his own! A guy on Bajaj Avenger banged my running car from behind and before there would have been a scene created on road, he got down from his bike, came to me, apologized and said – ‘I know aapki koi galti nahi hai, I’m really sorry, it was my mistake!’ He looked at the car and said – ‘there is no damage in your car, once again sincere apologies’. OMG, I was really, really shocked! One the mistake was just too small for him to get down from his bike, walk up to my car and then apologize, next he was actually a man and the banged vehicle was of a woman. Now isn’t it assumed in this world that whenever there is a bang or accident between vehicles of a man vs woman, it has to, has to be the woman at fault! I’m just so full of respect for this gentleman.

Now, before we go into debate of men vs. women driver, let me be honest and tell you all that despite being a woman I don’t have any objection in accepting that men are good drivers. In fact if I speak of my surrounding, when it comes to tricky driving, pati is a better driver than me and so are lots of my men colleagues and friends. I don’t think I have ever tried to prove that I’m a better driver than them and have no intention to prove the same in future as well. Thankfully I have been driving my car successfully for last few years with bang record of only once till now and that too it was almost 4 years back (touchwood). For me, driving is more of a necessity than a pleasure and those living in Bangalore or Chennai can vouch for it as to how difficult it is to deal with auto guys here. I have absolutely no qualms about accepting the fact that men are generally good drivers, but what I’ve problem with accepting are two generalizations – 1. All men are better drivers than women, 2. All women are bad drivers. Yes, I hate these two general statements. Trust me tolerating women driver centric jokes is a different thing and I’ve always done so generously but facing the repercussion of it in real life for no fault of yours can get too much at times. Picture these:

1: Pati driving and crossing a junction in full speed, some auto guy also trying to cross the same junction from perpendicular side. Both will blow the horn, finally pati wins and crosses the junction while auto guy will take a sharp break and give him the pass. Now imagine the situation with me trying to cross the same junction, I’m almost there just about to take the turn, an auto guy comes from same perpendicular direction blowing his horn. I had reached earlier and I was nearer to the crossing but auto guy will keep on blowing the horn till I don’t stop and let him go! There won’t be much space in front of me, he will tilt his auto, do this & that but still he has to go before me. While crossing he will give me a disgusting and scornful look with sometimes even fingers raised at me. His expressions tell me that stopping and giving him the pass despite me being the first to reach that junction was not enough; I should have actually got down, saluted the auto driver, curtsied and then allowed him to pass with a bow! So, what he is just another rowdy auto driver, after all he is a male driver and it’s his janam siddh adhikaar to give that filthy look to all women drivers on this earth.

2: Another woman driver whom I know had parked the car on the left side of the road with her parking light on, this friend had new car. An old dilapidated white Indica with a male driver was trying to take U turn from opposite side of the road, driver was on phone and god knows where was he lost? Suddenly me & friend feel a dhaad bang on the door, so the guy had managed to bang his car royally on the new car. The moment friend rolled off her window glass, this driver just pounced back on us. You know how it is like ulta chor kotwal ko daante…OMG this man just didn’t listen at all, kept on blah blahing as to how the car was parked at the wrong place never mentioning even once about the fact that he was driving and our car was standing still – so, if there was a bang, it has to be his mistake. But then this man started his sentence only at high pitch observing that on opposite side a lady was on the driving eat. As they say – aggression is the best defense; within no time all the jobless people nearby gathered around us and started supporting him. As I said earlier, you know that when it is a tiff between man and a woman driver then no one even bothers to ask whose fault it is. Soon it became a big row and this lady actually ended up paying to the Indica driver for some smaller scratches on his already super scratched car and there was not even a single eye who tried to see that it was the door of my friend’s new car which was badly dented. And no, I have not tweaked any fact over here to make the incident look more sympathetic towards my friend, each and every word is written as happened.

3: On a lighter note, whenever something happens in our car (me & my husband share the same car), the default question of others will be – aur Kanu, kaha thoka is baar car ko? Hmmm, be it a small scratch or a big dent, the hobson’s choice of suspect is always me. And as I said in my first para, last when I had a road tiff with me on the driving seat was actually 4 years back. If pati is around, he will jokingly reply – nahi yaar, mere se thuki car, kanu se nahi. If not, then poor me will keep on explaining that it’s not me.

When it’s for fun its bearable but when it’s being misused by people like in situations 1 and 2, then it really gets on to your nerves. You know, I understand some women hit panic button faster and hence those troubles on road due to women drivers but I have really seen some jerk men drivers too! I understand men may have better control on brakes & accelerators but this does not mean that women are bad drivers always.

Oh paisa yeh paisa :)

So, now there is an ad also on television which just substantiates the fact that as far as sports in India is concerned, money is there more in endorsements and not the actual sport! I’m speaking of the recent Fair & Lovely ad where this gal is trying to win some cycle championship and her brother tells her to change the sport if she wants to buy a new house in order to fulfill her mother’s dream. And whoa by the end of the ad, the gal is able to afford any bungalow in that locality because she is all ujli ujli now…errr I mean fair & lovely 😉 which has helped her in getting some endorsement deal from a famous sports company. Now when there is endorsement, there is money & when there is money, then maa ka sapna pura karne ka time 😉! And of course this endorsement came to her because she got transformed into this gorgeous, pretty, FAIR & LOVELY gal by applying fair & lovely! Chalo finally maa ka sapna sakaar hua, all thanks to this miraculous Fair & Lovely and the brand endorsement deal. Whatever happened to that cycle competition, who cares?

In a country where Sania is bigger than Tennis, Saina is bigger than Badminton & Vijender is bigger than Boxing, it does not come as a surprise that endorsements and not the actual sport are the main profession for so many of them. Well, there is no harm in earning money out of your profession be it sports or anything else, but commercializing your profession to an extent that you forget your profession only??? And mind it, I have not even spoken about Indian cricketers and their much discussed endorsement deals worth millions and billions of rupees Well, that’s a topic worth a book, Indian cricketers and their success in endorsement market is in fact a case study for marketing students across the globe. It’s really funny when you see this dark truth being shown proudly in the form of an ad commercial too :-). On one hand the ad is speaking of a sports gal but still the concept of bedaag goraapan :P, and to add to that she gets money because she gets that endorsement…LOL, des humara hai rangrez babu 🙂

Wordless Wednesday: A Walk in the Rain

A Walk in the Rain..

Thanks to a very old school friend for sending this back to me after so long…this is one of my initial pencil sketches which I had done one fine rainy day on school notebook while sitting in school library by seeing some picture on the opposite wall…friend liked it so much that decided to keep it and mailed a scanned copy of it after all these years…I’m really really touched and so full of nostalgia right now, well rain has always this effect on me 🙂 It’s a beautiful rainy day today and so thought of posting this rainy sketch on my blog today.

Wordless Wednesday


Oh how I try to walk along with the flow, how I try to hold on to the pace, but life seems to be just slipping underneath my feet…
Pic: Taken during one of my recent trips to Pondicherry