Just Generally

I was discussing today’s TOI article on waiting time for darshan in Tirupati with one of my colleagues who just happened to visit this holy place last weekend. I asked him how he managed to complete his trip in just two days when it is mentioned that the waiting time for even paid darshan is 60 hours right now. He just laughed & casually told that the waiting time is 60 hours who pay the standard paid darshan charge which is perhaps Rs. 60/- per person. There are some unofficial charges also & you get the entry as per the amount which you pay over there. He very casually told that he paid Rs. 600 per person & he managed to have the darshan in 5 hours. He had gone there with 5 family members & so he spent Rs. 3000 to have a darshan to the God!!! Then few other people also who were sitting with us cited their stories of spending some x, y, z amount of money to have darshan over there.

I think these days the concept of “paid darshan” is existing at almost all famous religious places where our famous Gods give the darshan faster & clearer to those who are willing to offer him bigger money. I haven’t personally visited Tirupati but have experienced something similar at all the famous religious places visited by me, be it Shirdi, Siddhivinayak or ISKON temple. I have visited Shirdi thrice, first two times with my husband & the last time with few of my relatives who had arranged some highly influential VVIP passes. First two times, we had to wait for 5 to 6 hours in a queue to have darshan & by the time we reached the Samadhi, the organizers just didn’t allow us to even stand there for few seconds for having a complete darshan. Everybody was passing in queues & some three to four queues are allowed to enter at a time near the Samadhi area. Those who were in the last queue didn’t get even the chance to touch the holy Samadhi of Sai Baba. First time, even I was in the last queue & hence I didn’t get the chance to bow my head or touch the Samadhi completely. Later on I was being told that “sab Baba ki kripa hai, woh unhi ko Samadhi tak aane dete hain, jinki shraddha sachchi hoti hai”. I was actually upset over the fact that even after waiting for so long I didn’t get the proper darshan. Second time, I went in the middle queue & finally got the chance to bow my head on the holy Samadhi & have a darshan. However, last time I experienced a completely different scenario. Because of this influential VVIP pass of my relatives, we got the chance to enter the place in few minutes only. Also to my surprise, we not only got a faster entry at the morning aarti time rather we were allowed to sit in the space just near the Samadhi & attend the complete aarti very properly. Infact there was a lady standing in the normal queue who was crying a lot to allow her to sit near the God’s Samadhi. She was having a small paralyzed child with her & she was standing there for the whole night to attend the early morning aarti & pray for her child. She wanted her child’s limb to be touched with baba’s Samadhi but she wasn’t allowed to do so as she was in the normal queue. I felt so guilty of sitting there with that pass that I actually offered to exchange my place with that lady but the security officer turned my suggestion down by saying that there was no place for me to move back & send the lady ahead. After coming out, I was just so disturbed by that lady’s wailing & was wondering on the concept of this “PAID DARSHAN” or “SPECIAL DARSHAN”.

I really get astonished on the power of money. Why is this concept of Paid Darshan existing at all famous religious places now? So much of corruption & bribe is happening in the name of these so called special darshan arranged by pundits & organizers of the temples. It has become so easy for those who have got money to have a darshan of these famous Gods whereas the poor & the needy ones are just left behind standing in the queue. Infact I think because of these special darshan facilities, the normal crowd has to wait longer & even after their loooong wait they never get the chance to have as good a view of the God as a special person gets. I think God is supposed to be unbiased & equal for all, then how come God is doing partiality with its devotees? Is money really that powerful that it can influence God & make even him partial???

I know, I know that I am asking a very weird question. I also know that my this post is very different from all my earlier posts. Was debating with myself, whether to put up this post on my blog or not & finally decided to go ahead with it as I always wonder on this question.

Frankly speaking whenever I watch some horror movies or any such stuff, I watch it with full enthusiasm & then later on get scared by having some bizarre thoughts or remembrance from the movie. My family members make a good fun of my this habit of getting scared esp. in darkness & I always try to defend myself by saying that no I am not scared of ghosts etc., its just that I remembered some scene from that particular movie & so got scared. A few days back I was reading in some newspaper that Mr. Bachchan (BIG B) used to get scared on the sets of his new horror movie & he used to imagine that some ghost will appear from here or there at night. It just brought a smile on my face & I silently thought, “Et Tu, Big B”!!!

I remember during my hostel life, once a hostel mate told us that she can call spirits through some planchet method & we all got just so thrilled by listening this. After that with full planning & excitement, we all gathered in one of the rooms at 2 a.m. & this girl did some this-that & told one of the girls to hold a coin. She told that if the coin will start moving then that means the spirit has come & all of us can ask one question from the spirit & whatever the spirit will answer will come true. I also don’t know how that coin start moving, maybe the girl who was holding the coin was so mesmerized & influenced by the spirit caller that she would have started moving it on her own. After that everyone was asking all sorts of questions about their result in exam, about their boyfriends, about their career, marriage & what not and the revolving spirit was answering questions in yes or no. It was really exciting at that moment of time but I can’t tell you my feelings later on. I was so dead scared in my room….ha ha ha…I used to imagine spirits in everything right from my wardrobe to the box below my bed… I can’t even describe my hallucinations of those days…hee hee hee….Finally one day I called up my mom & told her about our adventure & she scolded me a lot on believing & participating in such games. She told me that there is nothing known as ghost & no such spirits exist which can answer such stupid questions. She always prays a lot for our well being & nothing would happen to me. After getting this assurance from mom I felt better.

Well, my conscious & rational mind says that there is nothing known as ghost or spirit & such things don’t exist at all. On the other hand my same rational mind debates that if we can believe in God then why can’t in Ghost??? Maybe we want to believe in God & not in Ghost because natural human mind generally accepts & believes in such facts which are favorable & good for us.

Do really Ghosts exist or is it just one’s psychological perception??? Me still trying to figure out the same…

Yesterday, I was watching an interview of a very eminent female who has been quite successful in the field of marketing & advertising. Quite impressed by her personality, I was very keenly watching her interview. Every word coming out from her mouth seemed to be so relevant, relatable & perfect. Finally the interviewer asked her few questions about her personal life and her one main answer suddenly changed my whole perspective about her. With that one answer of her, everything seemed to be so unrelatable, so distant. Suddenly, I felt that I can never become like her…Just few minutes back, I was admiring her & wanted to be like her & her just one single sentence about her personal life made me realize that I can’t be as successful as her. Well, her that one sentence was – “SUCCESS DOESN”T COME WITHOUT ANY SACRIFICE & FOR HER SUCCESS SHE HAS SACRIFICED HER FAMILY LIFE”. She wanted to move ahead in her life & after marriage she realized that her time was getting divided between work & home. Because of her demanding nature of work, she was finding it difficult to cope up & so she finally decided not to have any child at all as she never wanted to have further responsibilities. She never regretted her decision of not having a child as she was knowing that she would have never attained this success if she would have gone ahead with a child in her life.

Well, frankly speaking even I grew up in my life with some fiery ambition & big dreams in my eyes. Got married last year & suddenly the whole life changed. Not that I am some bechari si female who is being dominated by her in-laws & all that but I think things automatically got changed slowly – slowly. Time got divided & suddenly I find so many people judging me. Now, I am not supposed to perform only one role in my office & be evaluated by my boss rather I find myself to be juggling between so many roles in my life & there are so many people who evaluate me for my different roles. Very naturally, my personal time has also got splitted between two fronts of my life – work & home. I am always trying to strike a balance between work & home and sometimes get quite frustrated when I am not able to satisfy either. I really sometimes get scared by imagining the days when I will have a child as I am very much aware that a child will be onset of some huge responsibilities in my life.

I know so many females who are also struggling hard to strike a perfect balance between work & home. Even though they were highly ambitious, their career had taken back seat because of their families. They had literally burnt themselves in this so called “balancing act”. They had given off their dreams of becoming some CEO or MD or XYZ of some big company. Well speaking of me, even though I am aware of the consequences & the cost which I will have to pay, then too I would like to have a child in future as personally I think life gets completed only after having a child & family. I am fully aware of the fact now that I will have to trade off my big dreams & ambition for having a family life but then too I want to go ahead with my family life.
So many females like me just try hard to strike a perfect balance between work & home but striking a balance generally leads to a mediocre level career & a mediocre level home – maker. The moment one tries to attain something big or excellent on either front of life, the pointer of the balance gets tilted to that particular side & the other side gets neglected. So, the next step will be either to reduce the efforts towards attaining that big/excellent thing and bring the pointer to balanced position or choose any one of the sides. I seriously wonder, if there is anything known as “PERFECT BALANCE” between two fronts of life where you achieve good at both the fronts or is it always a “TRADE OFF” between the two

Well, before I start writing, let me be very honest that no special pun or satire is intended towards men in general & this post is totally based on my experiences with my husband. Hubby darling loves me a lot but many of his habits simply lead to so many unanswered WHYs in my mind. After spending few months of our married life together, I have realized that there are certain WHYs about men, which is simply unrequited. Now here goes my list….

1. Why do men read newspaper in the loo? I mean I really don’t understand this funda of my husband. I always wonder, reading newspaper not in bedroom, not in living room, not on his way to office & out of all the places WHY in loo??? Yukkk….frankly speaking I toh don’t feel like touching that newspaper when it is out of that loo & because of his this great habit he takes so much time in a loo that one can actually write a movie script or a story in that time.
2. Why do men point out on our wardrobes? Whenever we decide to clean up our house, the first thing on which his eyes go, is my wardrobe. He will start scrutinizing as to why I don’t wear this & why don’t I throw this out & then he will make his final verdict – ” If I distribute your clothes which you don’t wear nowadays to some needy people, then I think I will be able to help out at least one village”. Hello, I asked you to help me out in cleaning our house & not emptying my wardrobe. I love clothes & that’s it!!!
3. Why do men love those blood-shedding movies? I think my husband gets really turned on by all those action packed movies, boxing matches & hardheaded movies pointing out political corruption in our society. Excuse me, why do we go out for a movie? I mean real life is already filled up with so many political corruptions then why to watch them in movies too? Also all those boxing matches, wherein they show so much of blood & injuries….eeeekkkk….how can he enjoy such things!!! Yes, I like romantic & senti movies. Atleast they are more eye-soothing & pleasant to watch.
4. Why do their favourite answer is “KUCH BHI”? Me- “Hey what shall I cook today”? He- “KUCH BHI”. Me- “What shall I wear while going to your aunt’s house”? He- KUCH BHI”. Me- “What gift shall I buy for your sister’s bday”? He- “KUCH BHI”….(this list is endless)….Can somebody please tell me, what does this “KUCH BHI” mean??? Hello, when I am asking you, that means I need your suggestions na!!!
5. Why can’t they remember dates? I very clearly remember the days like our first meeting, our first date etc…..but my hubby darling, forget it!!!I sometimes wonder if he will remember my bday also after few years. I think most of the females have agreed to me on this that men simply can’t remember dates.
6. Why do they hate shopping? The kind of faces which my hubby makes whenever we have to go out for shopping….It looks as if I have done some kind of atrocious torture on him!!! However, he never says no while going out for shopping but from his face one can simply make out that he hates shopping. I seriously wonder as to how men can hate a wonderful & exotic activity like shopping!!!
7. Why do they expect us to be so quick? O.K, O.K., I know that I take time to get ready or I take time to select a dress….but so what??? See, we have to decide so many things before getting ready, right kind of dress, right accessory, right footwear etc….So, we will take time na….Now if you get ready on time, so whats so big deal??? For you its simply a shirt/tshirt or trouser/jeans. But see, we have to decide from so many options- jeans, skirts, salwaar-kurta, saree etc…..Isn’t it a time consuming & difficult task?
8. Why do they simply hate our girl friends? Well he never puts any restriction on me, but there is not even a single girl friend of mine, whom he likes easily. Some he finds to be snob, some he thinks are very showy, some he thinks are not trustworthy & blah blah blah………Well, even I don’t like your MISS PERFECT or MISS SMARTY! But do I scrutinize them???
9. Why do they compare us with every Jill, Suz or Mary? “Janu, why don’t you wear something like her, or why don’t you do this like her etc. etc. etc”….Hello, do we compare men with any Tom, Dick or Harry, then why do they compare us with all those so called hot looking babes? We don’t look like them & neither we want to look so hot (rather cheap).
10. And last but not the least….why do they put the towels on bed? Now this is something really serious about my husband, he simply can’t put the wet towel anywhere else. I know that its of no point to tell him this anymore as I think he finds bed to the most suitable & best place to keep the wet towel after bath….Amusing, isn’t it???

Well, enough for now, I think this list can

Well, we all study & grow up with some purpose & goals in our lives. As a kid if, one used to ask me – What do you want to become after growing up & I excitingly used to reply – “IAS officer/ Doctor/Engineer/Pilot”. Of course like many other kids, even I used to have different answers at my different age levels. But the crux was that I was having some goal & ambition in my life. Even after having an outstanding academic records & a good bachelor’s degree, I finally realized that in present corporate culture, you are nothing if you aren’t having a MBA degree. So, went ahead for pursuing a MBA degree also & finally landed up with this job at a reputed company.Started my job with some very high hopes & firey aspiration to have a great career in my life. Well frankly speaking after working for two years, now I realized the difference between the word “career” & “job”. Now I know that I am having a very cool & comfortable job but a pathetic career. Now if someone asks me –”What do you want to do in your life?”, I think I will be clueless. After lots of introspection also, I think I don’t know the answer to this question. I feel as if I am having no goals in my life. Well, everyday I come to work in the morning with absolutely no enthusiasm, no zeal & no excitement towards my work as I know that nothing new is going to happen. My work is supposedly interesting but with the passage of time, my role has just ended up as a co-ordinator. Now, one can understand how messy the job of a co-ordinator is!!! You co-ordinate with n number of different teams. If something good comes up, all the different teams are ready to share your success but if something goes wrong, it ends up being only my responsibility. I think my whole office strongly believes in the saying- “Success has many fathers but Failure is an orphan child”. Well, my dear ones say that it happens with everybody as in every office it’s the same story. They advice me to carry on my work & not to think too much. I also carry on the work like others, try to finish off as much as possible and then at the end of the day return back home with same unanswered questions in my mind. Where am I heading? What am I getting out of this job? What am I learning? What do I want out of my life? Why was I so confident of my dreams & aspirations during my childhood & now when I have got the potentiality to do something then why am I so inconfident of my goals and way ahead? Why am I so clueless of my aspirations? Does a cool & comfortable job mean a great job or does a great package mean a great job? What is the meaning of having a great career? Is JOB synonymous to CAREER?

“Hey, it was really good. I just convinced everybody. I am so happy, finally I got promoted.” I coolly said – “Wow!!! You deserved it dear. When are you giving us treat?” These were my only words, which I could manage to tell her with my heavy heart. “DESERVE IT, my foot. PROMOTION!!! Oh nooo, really, how can an idiot like you be promoted”………these were some of the honest comments which I really wanted to tell her, but I didn’t, as in this corporate culture, I have learnt one very important thing i.e., to be POLITICALLY CORRECT.

But way back my home, I was really feeling very sad. I was wondering how come she got promoted!!! How come she manages to get so much accreditation? Why does she get so much recognized even for her smallest of activities & why don’t I get noticed for all the thousands & thousands of work which I have done without opening my mouth. Not that I am not appreciated by my superiors & peers, well I am appraised for my work & my talent but not in the same way as she is. Be it qualification, sincerity, hardwork, confidence, or taking initiatives, I don’t think I lack anywhere as compared to her. Even my boss appreciates my initiatives & intelligence, then what is it which makes her so popular? How does she manage to convince everybody that she is the busiest person around? Any new complicated work being given to her & she will very sweetly announce that she can’t take any new assignment as she is working on some very important project. Resultantly, it’s the donkeys like me who will end up doing extra & extra work on her behalf. Well, we very well know her important projects…….all those net surfing, phone gossip & back biting of other colleagues. But one thing she definitely makes sure to do whenever she does any work & that is MAKE NOISE of her own work. She makes sure that whenever she is doing something, whole office should know that she is doing something very complicated, exciting & new. She will make sure to create an impression that noone has ever done this work in the same way as she has done & hers is the best & most systematic approach towards work. Best thing is that she generally takes help from me/others, understands so many things from us, copies so many formats from us but presents it with some cosmetic changes to the superiors with full confidence as her own new ideas & initiatives. Superiors also get impressed by her initiatives without even realizing that it is a copied work as neither me nor others like me would have done tom-tom about our work. The next best thing about her is that she very strongly believes in networking & relationship management with superiors.

Initially I never used to pay attention to her loud character. I always used to believe in the saying-“Modesty is the best virtue”. I always used to convince myself that I should keep doing my work with full sincerity & devotion and one day people will realize my potential. I always used to believe that talent & sincerity pay in the long run and mere relationship building (in my language, unnecessary networking or rather shoe licking) with superiors will lead to nowhere. I used to strongly believe in the traditional equation of success which is, SUCCESS = INTELLIGENCE + SINCERITY + DEDICATION + HARDWORK. But I think my belief is wrong. Gone are the days of sincerity, hardwork, dedication & intelligence. Well it is of no use to be intelligent if you can’t impress your intelligence upon others & its very easy to impress this now-a-days….Just make sure that whatever you are speaking, even if its full crap & rubbish, it should come out from your mouth with full confidence (rather over-confidence) & loud voice. Its absolutely useless to be sincere & dedicated to work, what matters most is how best you can make sure that people know your sincerity & busy schedule during work. Working hard is a passe these days, the in thing is “working smart”. Now, one might wonder as to how to work smartly? Well, very simple…..make others work hard on your behalf & get the job completed by them and show it smartly as your own work to the world………Cool na??? I think the equation of success has changed now. The new equation is, SUCCESS = LOUD CHARACTER + NETWORKING (rather ASSLICKING) + OVER CONFIDENCE + SMARTWORK. Isn’t it??? Atleast I am observing this new equation in my office……

My Prejudiced Remembrance…..Why I don’t remember very clearly the days when I had sweets in my meal but I remember very clearly the days when I hadn’t got any meal because of our impecunious state? I don’t have count of my few peaceful nights but why have I got a clear remembrance of my sleepless nights? When I see a sweet dream, its easier to forget but why can’t I forget the bad dreams which I had seen in my past? I think not to dwell over past & enjoy the present…but why do I remember so vividly those shriek & screech from past? I moved ahead in my life & accomplished my goals. But why do I still get tears in my eyes by remembering the struggle to achieve all these things? Why don’t the insecurities from my mind go away? Physical scars faded slowly but why are those mental scars so difficult to earse?
Well, there as so many such WHYs which come to my mind. I always wonder as to why my remembrance is so biased, why is it so inclined towards the negative ones? Why is it so difficult to forget the tormenting memoirs? But I think there is a reason for the same…..Maybe its important to remember the struggle & tears, then only you can understand the importance of success & happiness. Sometimes its good to experience the hunger, then only you can understand the importance of food. Sometimes its necessary to have tears in your eyes, then you can understand the importance of smile. Sometimes its important to remember the agonized past, then you can understand the importance of present………..