Portion Control

Wherever you go, everyone speaks of one word these days – Portion Control.

Someone is controlling sugar, someone carb, someone gluten, someone fat, someone … ah, the list is endless! It’s amazing to encounter this word “portion control” anywhere and everywhere.

As a habit, I think it’s wonderful and it’s great to know that people including me have become so mindful about what they eat.

But I wonder why this “Portion Control” consciousness only for what we feed to our body? Why not “Portion Control” for the mind too?

A recent conversation with a few friends having lunch and casual chitchat over food and lifestyle made me think more about this. Everyone in that group was sharing their stories on what and how they have limited their food intake but many while talking kept on looking at their phones. Now if this was me a year back, I wouldn’t have found anything wrong about talking while responding to WhatsApp or browsing Instagram. In fact, I would have happily attributed it to multitasking ability and how efficient we are at it these days.

But now I do, I do find it to be weird talking to someone while not looking at him/her.

I find it tiring to be consuming content on-screen constantly and continuously.

By the way, like many, I am also one of those who had disabled my phone notifications long back but despite that, for me, the eye-opening moment about my screen consumption habit was when I installed the screen time app on my phone this January. I always assumed I didn’t waste lots of time browsing junk on my phone but that app’s results for the first few weeks were shocking, to say the least. I had a screen time of 5 hours+ on my phone! Initially, I also thought it could be calls but no, it was chatting on WhatsApp, browsing Linkedin, Instagram, and other random content. 

Now 5 hours per day means, 35 hours a week! In 5 hours, I could have written 1 new blog post every day.  In 35 hours, I could have read perhaps 2 new books every week. 

Ok I agree, not every content browsing is junk and many of us do a large portion of our work on phones but what about the distractions through group chats and notifications about the picture of a dog uploaded by your uncle’s friend’s aunt living in some corner of the world?

If you were like me, you also might be thinking just one response to that “important” Whatsapp message or one quick scroll on Instagram won’t do much harm in between your work but then I read this – 

It takes on an average 23 minutes to focus back after distraction!

I don’t know about the accuracy of 23 minutes but I can’t debate the fact that distraction takes few seconds whereas concentrating back takes minutes. 

The digital content is nothing less than a  lavish buffet spread now and the 24*7 internet connectivity on our phone is like having that buffet in front of our eyes wherever we go. Even though the buffet looks very lucrative but can we afford to consume it all everyday?

Six months into controlling my screen time and I have brought it down to less than 2 hours everyday, now the aim is to bring it down further this month. 

What worked for me is exactly what works for potion control in our meals, something that you hear often –

Measure, Eliminate And Replace.

1. Measure: Like food, the realization starts with the number. How many of us are super conscious about measuring our weight weekly? Few kgs north of our average weight and we get worked up. We just need to bring the same sincerity in tracking other important things in our life. Install any screentime app of your choice and I bet you will be surprised to see the reality of time spent on your phone. 

2. Eliminate: Remove the obvious junk. The way we do it with sugar or refined food in our diet, we need to do take similar steps for our mind too. Now what you would like to eliminate depends upon you. For some, it could be social sites and for some video browsing sites. For me, the first thing that I reduced was Facebook (gosh, how much random videos I used to watch!) browsing from 45 minutes a day to now less than 5 minutes a day. After Facebook, I implemented the same for many other sites too :-). 

3. Replace: Fill your plate with healthier options and make them easily accessible: Now this is one of the most important suggestions that you hear from experts, go for healthier options like salads and vegetables but more importantly carry more such options in your bag or keep them in your work desk to grab when your crave for any junk food. Again the same applies here. In my case, I have filled my first screen with things that I would like to focus on, e.g., reading apps, notes, etc and the ones whom I do not want to have been hidden in folders in the third or fourth screen. 

Just try these three simple tips and see the difference. Measuring part is really important, you will not know how deep the problem is or what to eliminate and replace until you evaluate :-).

Now that we have discussed portion control for meals and mind, I wonder isn’t it good to have it in other aspects of life too like work as well as relationships? More on that in my next post soon :-).

Whatever happened to being real?

How do you explain that expressing genuine views against some national movements is not equal to being anti-nationalist, but realistic?

How do you explain that not being optimistic is not equal to being pessimistic, but realistic?

How do you explain that not being happy always is not equal to being depressed, but realistic?

How do you explain that not having opinions matching to yours is not equal to being crazy, but real me?

How do you explain that not enjoying large crowds or social gatherings always is not equal to being unsocial, but real me?

How do you explain that not being able to see silver lining in everything is not equal to being negative, but realistic?

Whatever happened to being real!
Whatever happened to being realistic!
Whatever happened to being imperfect! 
Whatever happened to being human!
Whatever happened to being original!
Whatever happened to being you!

Just Keep Moving Ahead

I just so agree to this! Something that I have always believed in. Something that has always led me to some path, may not necessarily  to the preferred destination but at least helped me move ahead.
And yet again I am at roads where I am not getting answers to what next in life but all I know from my past experience is that – I must keep moving ahead!
Yet again I am at a phase where fate seems to be really cruel but all I know from my past experience is that – I must keep moving ahead!
Yet again I am in a situation where negativity seems to be dominant all around but all I know from my past experience is that – I must keep moving ahead!
Yet again I am in a plight where helplessness is overpowering me but all I know from my past experience is that – I must keep moving ahead!
Yet again I am in a state where I want to quit fighting with adversities, stop moving ahead but all I know from my past experience is that – I must keep moving ahead!
Yes, sometimes acceptance is the only option you have and moving ahead is the best thing you can do – without thinking too much on what, why and how. 
And I thought a lot about whether to make this post live or not. Does it communicate my weaker side? Does it communicate my emotional turbulence? Well, heck yes, even if it does, so what! For once I want to write posts that communicate the real state of me. After all, as I always say we are human beings who are supposed to have different shades of life, not sure why in today’s environment we are expected to behave like hard coded programmed robots exhibiting only positivism and optimism and happiness (read projected happiness in  virtual world) and blah and blah and some more blah.
Yet again I have learned, any shade of life is ok as long as we work towards getting out of it and perhaps the only way to come out of any state is to move ahead!

Happiness: Absolute or Relative Quotient?

Oh yes, I’m alive people 🙂 and was once again absconding from this space for weeks :(… Many a reasons for the same but well I will leave that for a separate post.
As of now, I’m in quite a weird mood or shall I say pissed off with some generalist attitudes. The recent one being, hearing of negative sighs with a standard statement – “Arey yaar teri kismat badi achchi hai“!

Don’t know if it’s the frequency of this statement in recent times or the negativity which it exudes even from so called close people which irritates me more but whatever it is, these days this sentence really gets on to my nerves! You meet someone, he/she asks you how life is going on, gives some happening updates of his or her life, insists again and again on knowing what’s up with you and then when you reply about the updates or latest developments in your life, you get to hear – “arey wah, great to know about these. Waise kuch bhi bol yaar, teri kismat bahut achchi hai. Tujhe yeh bhi mil jata hai aur woh bhi, teri hi life sahi hai“. Well, normally such sentences do not bother me but then there are times when it does. Especially when you know the effort which you had put in or the difficulties you had to face to get those things and all you can see is the gloomy expression or the negative heave of sigh which the person leaves for you!

Well, not everything can be all about kismat or luck in life. And even if it is, then why this sigh for others? I mean you also have a happy life going on then why not be happy for others too? Why it diminishes when you hear about some positive updates in others lives? Will your life be happier if you focus on what you have or will it be happier when you come to know what others don’t have? Why the evaluation of your life always has to be in comparison to someone else?

Now coming down to luck, I have no idea if any such thing exists in life. At least those who know me closely esp. since childhood know the kind of struggle which I have gone through in my life. Again I am not saying that I have had one of the most difficult lives ever but yes, I know that nothing has ever come to me easily and simply out of luck. Life has never ever been easy for me; I had my own share of unimaginable losses and unexpected mayhem. Those who know me very personally can actually vouch for that. But then I also know that if I have really-really tried for something in life I have got it; maybe not everything what I wanted and not at the time when I wanted but sooner or later and in some or other form it has come to me. I also know that rarely have I felt negative in life due to happiness or success or growth of others. This does not mean I did not have my own moments of frustration or depression, I’m no saint or some ultra optimistic person but such phases have been mainly due to my own problems and not because of happiness of others. I at times wonder why I do not bother much about others; maybe the struggle of my own life keeps me busy enough to not focus on others. I’m too engrossed solving my own problems and thinking of bettering my own life instead of missing on what others have with them.

A person like me does not always like to share the problems or turbulences of my life very openly. This does not mean I’m one of the super happy persons or everything comes absolutely easily to me. Also when life is so busy for all of us, then when we meet I prefer to discuss the stuffs which can give us lighter moments in our already stressed lives. So, without knowing the complete picture or the immense endeavor which one has put in getting something in life, just do not come to conclusion as to how others’ lives are always so perfect and how yours is so miserable!

Can’t you evaluate your happiness in absolute quotient based on your own life instead of evaluating it as a relative quotient by comparing to others? I know it sounds like some theoretical gyaan or boring updesh but try avoiding this relative measurement or comparative analysis once and see the difference in your satisfaction level… I really mean it! And next time think before heaving that negative sigh for others.

Yet another 5th Feb!

Yet another 5th Feb, yet another reminder of 5th Feb 2009. 2 years…730 days without Kishu! Life goes on but can never be same, yes it does move on but with a brutal pain. Today also when I look at his photo it feels like he will speak any moment and laugh his loud laugh again…but alas certain wishes just remain wishes forever and certain realities are too illusive to accept. Earlier it was painful to remember him but now I do it purposefully as memories of Kishu are the only things left with us and I just don’t want to fade it ever. Wherever he is, I just hope he is fine and happy in a new life… can’t even say we miss him as till now we have not forgotten him even for a moment to miss him…

Life: They Say…Then Why!

Well, this post is bit cynical. I know it exudes negativity but still can’t help it…I think I’m going through one such phase of life where God has decided to challenge my own convictions and shake my strongest beliefs. When I thought the worst which could happen to us was Kishu’s death, God decided to prove me wrong. Well, there are things which can be worse than his death and can very much happen in my life anyday, anytime! When I thought things are at its toughest and soon I will get to see the brighter side, God decided to put me to trials tougher than toughest, to situations which I never even imagined I could bear…and it’s not that I’m not trying to face the problems or not fighting against it, have always done so ever since my childhood and still doing it but then I think almost everybody reaches a point where you just want to know two things – “what else” & “till when”! I also know there are many who might have been facing worse than me and there are many who can still manage to maintain their calm but for me I’m at a stage where no positive word or theoretical gyaan can actually soothe me anymore. If anything, these so called inspirational words just make me feel worse…wrote the following words few days back in one of my scornful moods after being bugged up by three consecutive calls from relatives who just do not know anything apart from imparting hypothetical gyaan on how only I’m responsible for the direction in which my life will move ahead! Revisited it again today after yet another similar call. Well giving gyaan is one thing and going through these tribulations is just another…only those who experience the situation know how difficult at times it gets to maintain your calm and sanity in front of others despite the storm and calamity which you have been going through internally…

Life: They Say…Then Why!

They say,
That every dark cloud has a silver lining,
Then why this one is eternally darkening?

That there is a light at the end of every tunnel,
But what if the journey within is just too agonal!

That the toughest and strongest often lead the league,
But can’t the strongest have their moments of fatigue?

That in all things it is better to hope than to despair,
What if the hope is smashed and shattered beyond repair?

That think positive and everything will be fine,
Tried it; many a times but life is just on a continual decline!
– Kanupriya

This does not mean that I have lost my faith completely, neither do I believe that things will never be fine for me…It’s just that I think it’s better to lie low and let the tide flow when tide is totally against you and refusing to get slow. Trying to swim when the tide is against is just making me more and more exhausted.

Taking It Easy

I read a column by Pritish Nandy in Bangalore Times yesterday titled – “Taking it easy”. Not sure if it was my yesterday’s contemplative mood or the relevance of the article which made me like this one so much. Word by word, I found it to be so significant and applicable to lives of many of us.

A piece from the article
: “We pay fees for clubs we seldom use, gyms we never visit, doctors we have no faith in, time share resorts we will never go to. It’s all part of the same syndrome. Keeping up with those who you think are better off than you. It could be a friend, a neighbor or that guy in the office you hate the most. You want what he has without figuring whether you really need it. Or even want it. That’s why our homes are crammed with stuff we have grown out of. That stupid music system no one uses because we each have our own iPods. Those ridiculous sneakers we bought that promised to tone our butts as we walked or that joke of a cream that claimed to stop ageing. We are idiots, blindly responding to the stimuli of commercial messaging.
Is it possible to get off this treacherous treadmill? It is. The answer lies in breaking the sameness, deconstructing the routine of our lives, finding new things to do. None of this costs money. What costs money is staying on the treadmill, constantly running. Migrating from your Nokia to a Blackberry may be expensive but leaving it at home and hanging out at the local bookshop is not. No, it doesn’t diminish you if you carry last season’s LV or drive a Nano. You don’t have to afford that paint job in your house every Diwali. Instead, frame those family pictures and hang them up. You may recall many lovely memories that a spotless wall can’t offer. Skip some episodes of Bigg Boss; learn to play the guitar instead. Drop that Ceasar’s salad; try a vada pao. It won’t wreck your diet plan. Even if it does, it won’t matter as long as you’re happy. Feed a street dog. Buy a flute from that young flautist outside the Jehangir. Go trekking. Skip the newspaper. Stroll in a park.”

Sameness, scheduled and stressed…ain’t most of the working young people experiencing the same? Baring a few, I think to whomsoever I speak these days have to say almost similar things about their lives. Speaking about me, I have been going through millions of questions in my mind for past few days. Some spinning around this article and many in different other trajectories.
To think of it, it’s now 7. 5 years for me in Corporate career, don’t remember having even 7.5 days of my own every since I started working way back in mid of 2003. Yes, same rat race every day, every week, every month and every year. Did gain a lot in career but then did I get even few days of my own to sit back, relax and think…well no! Did take some short vacations too but most of them were spent running back to my home town, then after marriage it was in-laws house and if nothing else then managing different tragedies which kept on happening one after another. I try to think more and no, I don’t remember having even a week’s off which was just for me and myself! There are books all around me now but no time to read, so many places which I wanna see but no time to go, those dream holidays which I can afford now but no time to take off, those yum food which I always wanted to try but health does not permit now to do so, that strong desire to just go out and laze around in the warmth of sun on those bright sunny days but then it’s yet another weekday, that……….well I think I can list down some endless desires which most of the times end with but, but and some more buts. And I also know it’s not just me, it’s many like me who go through the same every day. Where’s that thing known as “Taking It Easy” gone for us? And will it ever come back? Well……..

Don’t miss to read the complete article by Pritish Nandy here.