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Of driving, men drivers & women drivers

September 16, 2010
In the whole history of mankind, have you ever, ever, ever met a man driver who can actually apologize to a woman driver saying it was his mistake??? I actually met one today, it was a very small mistake yet he apologized & that too on his own! A guy on Bajaj Avenger banged my running car from behind and before there would have been a scene created on road, he got down from his bike, came to me, apologized and said – ‘I know aapki koi galti nahi hai, I’m really sorry, it was my mistake!’ He looked at the car and said – ‘there is no damage in your car, once again sincere apologies’. OMG, I was really, really shocked! One the mistake was just too small for him to get down from his bike, walk up to my car and then apologize, next he was actually a man and the banged vehicle was of a woman. Now isn’t it assumed in this world that whenever there is a bang or accident between vehicles of a man vs woman, it has to, has to be the woman at fault! I’m just so full of respect for this gentleman.

Now, before we go into debate of men vs. women driver, let me be honest and tell you all that despite being a woman I don’t have any objection in accepting that men are good drivers. In fact if I speak of my surrounding, when it comes to tricky driving, pati is a better driver than me and so are lots of my men colleagues and friends. I don’t think I have ever tried to prove that I’m a better driver than them and have no intention to prove the same in future as well. Thankfully I have been driving my car successfully for last few years with bang record of only once till now and that too it was almost 4 years back (touchwood). For me, driving is more of a necessity than a pleasure and those living in Bangalore or Chennai can vouch for it as to how difficult it is to deal with auto guys here. I have absolutely no qualms about accepting the fact that men are generally good drivers, but what I’ve problem with accepting are two generalizations – 1. All men are better drivers than women, 2. All women are bad drivers. Yes, I hate these two general statements. Trust me tolerating women driver centric jokes is a different thing and I’ve always done so generously but facing the repercussion of it in real life for no fault of yours can get too much at times. Picture these:

1: Pati driving and crossing a junction in full speed, some auto guy also trying to cross the same junction from perpendicular side. Both will blow the horn, finally pati wins and crosses the junction while auto guy will take a sharp break and give him the pass. Now imagine the situation with me trying to cross the same junction, I’m almost there just about to take the turn, an auto guy comes from same perpendicular direction blowing his horn. I had reached earlier and I was nearer to the crossing but auto guy will keep on blowing the horn till I don’t stop and let him go! There won’t be much space in front of me, he will tilt his auto, do this & that but still he has to go before me. While crossing he will give me a disgusting and scornful look with sometimes even fingers raised at me. His expressions tell me that stopping and giving him the pass despite me being the first to reach that junction was not enough; I should have actually got down, saluted the auto driver, curtsied and then allowed him to pass with a bow! So, what he is just another rowdy auto driver, after all he is a male driver and it’s his janam siddh adhikaar to give that filthy look to all women drivers on this earth.

2: Another woman driver whom I know had parked the car on the left side of the road with her parking light on, this friend had new car. An old dilapidated white Indica with a male driver was trying to take U turn from opposite side of the road, driver was on phone and god knows where was he lost? Suddenly me & friend feel a dhaad bang on the door, so the guy had managed to bang his car royally on the new car. The moment friend rolled off her window glass, this driver just pounced back on us. You know how it is like ulta chor kotwal ko daante…OMG this man just didn’t listen at all, kept on blah blahing as to how the car was parked at the wrong place never mentioning even once about the fact that he was driving and our car was standing still – so, if there was a bang, it has to be his mistake. But then this man started his sentence only at high pitch observing that on opposite side a lady was on the driving eat. As they say – aggression is the best defense; within no time all the jobless people nearby gathered around us and started supporting him. As I said earlier, you know that when it is a tiff between man and a woman driver then no one even bothers to ask whose fault it is. Soon it became a big row and this lady actually ended up paying to the Indica driver for some smaller scratches on his already super scratched car and there was not even a single eye who tried to see that it was the door of my friend’s new car which was badly dented. And no, I have not tweaked any fact over here to make the incident look more sympathetic towards my friend, each and every word is written as happened.

3: On a lighter note, whenever something happens in our car (me & my husband share the same car), the default question of others will be – aur Kanu, kaha thoka is baar car ko? Hmmm, be it a small scratch or a big dent, the hobson’s choice of suspect is always me. And as I said in my first para, last when I had a road tiff with me on the driving seat was actually 4 years back. If pati is around, he will jokingly reply – nahi yaar, mere se thuki car, kanu se nahi. If not, then poor me will keep on explaining that it’s not me.

When it’s for fun its bearable but when it’s being misused by people like in situations 1 and 2, then it really gets on to your nerves. You know, I understand some women hit panic button faster and hence those troubles on road due to women drivers but I have really seen some jerk men drivers too! I understand men may have better control on brakes & accelerators but this does not mean that women are bad drivers always.

Oh paisa yeh paisa :)

September 8, 2010
So, now there is an ad also on television which just substantiates the fact that as far as sports in India is concerned, money is there more in endorsements and not the actual sport! I’m speaking of the recent Fair & Lovely ad where this gal is trying to win some cycle championship and her brother tells her to change the sport if she wants to buy a new house in order to fulfill her mother’s dream. And whoa by the end of the ad, the gal is able to afford any bungalow in that locality because she is all ujli ujli now…errr I mean fair & lovely 😉 which has helped her in getting some endorsement deal from a famous sports company. Now when there is endorsement, there is money & when there is money, then maa ka sapna pura karne ka time 😉! And of course this endorsement came to her because she got transformed into this gorgeous, pretty, FAIR & LOVELY gal by applying fair & lovely! Chalo finally maa ka sapna sakaar hua, all thanks to this miraculous Fair & Lovely and the brand endorsement deal. Whatever happened to that cycle competition, who cares?

In a country where Sania is bigger than Tennis, Saina is bigger than Badminton & Vijender is bigger than Boxing, it does not come as a surprise that endorsements and not the actual sport are the main profession for so many of them. Well, there is no harm in earning money out of your profession be it sports or anything else, but commercializing your profession to an extent that you forget your profession only??? And mind it, I have not even spoken about Indian cricketers and their much discussed endorsement deals worth millions and billions of rupees Well, that’s a topic worth a book, Indian cricketers and their success in endorsement market is in fact a case study for marketing students across the globe. It’s really funny when you see this dark truth being shown proudly in the form of an ad commercial too :-). On one hand the ad is speaking of a sports gal but still the concept of bedaag goraapan :P, and to add to that she gets money because she gets that endorsement…LOL, des humara hai rangrez babu 🙂

Human trafficking in India – Now chor bazaar for kids?

June 25, 2010
Not that reading bizarre news in newspapers surprises me anymore, in fact I can safely say that when I pick up newspaper in the morning, I do expect to read at least 3-4 such weird news which just leaves you thinking – aisa bhi ho sakta hai kya! But when you read some news piece like this, not only it leaves you amazed at the plight of things around us but it also makes you think about the state of human behavior in current times.
Frankly speaking I had no intention to write any gyaan post today but this news did effect me a lot. Earlier I had read it in newspapers, and last night when I saw some coverages being aired on news channels about kidnapped babies rescued in TN, the visuals impacted me all the more! As per the report – “two more babies were recovered yesterday in TN on the basis of the lead given by the two gangsters who were on police custody. In this connection Jayaprakash, Chennai based middle man and Ramalingam, an accomplice of Dhanalakshmi were arrested by the Krishnagiri police. Police sources said that the accused in the baby kidnapping case, Dhanalakshmi confessed that she had kidnapped a four day old male baby belonging to N. Mumtaj hailing from Tiruppathur at the Tiruppathur GH and a two and half year old boy of S. Sangeetha of Pernambattu Colony on July 23, 2008 and handed over to Girija another accused in the case under the police custody. In turn Girija sold the four day old baby to Puzhuthiraj-Mekala couple in Jainagar in Bangalore for Rs.99, 000 and another baby was sold to Periyasamy-Kamalam couple living near Salem in Krishnagiri for Rs.50, 000”.

Parents interested in selling their own babies out of need is a different topic, maybe their financial penury is so overpowering that they decide to sell their own kids for any money ranging between Rs. 10,000 to 1.5 lacs. Yeah, 10k – that’s the cost of a human life in India! But imagine people STEALING babies and then selling it in the market to the willing ones? Can a human really do this? Human trafficking anyways is growing at a phenomenal rate in India and right from women being used in sex market, to kids being used for child labor or kid-sex market, we have seen and are seeing it all. Human trafficking is actually an organized industry which has been observing growth rate of no less than 20-30 per cent year on year basis. But kidnapping new born babies or so called baby-trafficking has to be really the worst form of trafficking I guess! More than my anger on rackets kidnapping new born babies, I feel disgusted on these affluent people who out of their parental hunger are actually paying money for those stolen innocent babies. There are so many orphanages in India, why not adopt one from there and why resorting to this ugly act of inhumaneness? Is it because they definitely want a new born baby only or they are ashamed of adopting one from orphanage? Frankly speaking I am quite curious to know more about their reasons of buying babies this illegal way but whatever might be the reason, I think nothing can be worse or more shameful than participating in trafficking of innocent new-born infants!

Wordless Wednesday

June 16, 2010

Oh how I try to walk along with the flow, how I try to hold on to the pace, but life seems to be just slipping underneath my feet…
Pic: Taken during one of my recent trips to Pondicherry

Bus Day – Is it really feasible?

June 4, 2010
Got this image as a forward yesterday, and the first section of the picture immediately reminded me of the driving stretch between Sarjapur Junction- Agara; a stretch which unfortunately I need to drive by daily :(. How painful that stretch is can only be described by people who commute on it daily.

Most of the days I end up cribbing about traffic woes and the miseries of flyover construction all over Bangalore, though at the same time I also keep on thinking as to what I as an individual can do to avoid adding up to the already existing mess on roads. Trust me all the traffic problem in Bangalore is not only because of municipal issues, I seriously think that and firmly believe that a good part of the chaos is also due to highly undisciplined commuters here. Even if the percentage of such irresponsible drivers will be low as compared to the sincere ones but the problem is when there is not even an extra inch available to divert then even slight digression and other smart acts by few fellow drivers can really lead to larger chaos on the roads. Tired of driving (read crawling) on that route daily, I always think of opting for some public transportation service for my daily commuting needs. One it would save me all the hassle of meandering my ways on that horribly packed road, second at least from my side I’ll be reducing one car which occupies the road space with only one passenger in it! But unfortunately there is no good bus service available directly from my home to office. And taking auto daily is simply out of question – one needs a special training all together to deal with auto walas in Bangalore.

When I saw this picture yesterday and read a tweet about monthly bus day today in Bangalore, I thought let me try to travel by bus today. Last month also we had discussed in office about taking the bus on bus day as our contribution for lesser traffic from our side even if it meant for one day only. I knew this would mean at least extra 30 mins (6 mins to walk till nearest bus stop from my home, 14 mins to reach my office from nearest bus stop again & another 10 minutes to wait for bus to come assuming there will be at least some bus every 10 minutes). And taking out extra 30 mins in morning rush to reach office is a task in itself. But still determined to travel by bus today, I reached the stop dot on time as per the timing suggested by BMTC website. Two auto guys came and very proudly I said NO to them. Waiting, waiting and lo no bus at all for 15 mins. Hmmm, some more waiting and after approx 22 minutes saw a bus coming. Happily tried to enter the same and well the bus was jam packed so much so that not even a single passenger boarded the bus. A minute or two and the bus was just gone! Waiting commuters looked at each other with a wry smile. Waited for another few minutes and then along with others decided to succumb to auto wallas once again. And when we approached those auto guys whom earlier all of us had said no, you should have seen their ironical smile! Yes, once again we were at the mercy of them and knowing well that we have already wasted our time for 25-30 minutes, all of them asked whatever money they wanted to. Depending upon our negotiating powers, kannada speaking skills and urgency to reach office we took the autos at all random and highly inflated rates. Finally reached office quite late than planned and at a quite higher cost than estimated! Despite the intention to contribute my bit towards lesser traffic, the bus day was sort of dampener for me!

Though I am in total favor of initiatives like Bus Day or Carpooling drives in Bangalore, but I wonder do we have enough infrastructures to support such initiatives here? What’s the point in tom-tomming so much about initiatives like bus day when not even enough buses are there to support the needs of the commuters? If facilities are there but still public is not opting for it out of luxury or bit of convenience then I can still understand it, but here not even the basic facilities are in place for people to opt for? Can I as an individual really do anything towards easing out the traffic problems in Bangalore or am I just supposed to have more patience to cope up with it each & every day?

Reality vs Real Competition

May 5, 2010
Scene 1: Judge: Beta, aap bade hoke kya banna chahte ho?
Li’ll gal replied cutely – “Item Girl”
Judges: Shabash beta, bahot achcha naache aap.
Background score on which the kid just finished dancing:
Ring Ring Ringa, Ring Ring Ringa, Ring Ring Ringa Ringa Ringa
Khatiye Pe Mein Padi Thi, Aur Gehri Neend Badi Thi
Aage Kya Main Kahu Sakhi Re…
Ek Khatmal Tha Sayana, Mujhpe Tha Uska Nishana
Chunrai Mein Gus Gaya Dheere Dheere, Oooooo Ohhh

Scene 2: A kid hardly of 6-7 years crying badly, when asked the reason he in all tears replied – “main apne mummy papa ka sapna pura nahi kar paya, main select nahi hua. Camera rolled on to the lady standing beside him and well mummy ji was in tears too!

Scene 3: Another young gal in red hot pants gyrating her hips in a way which can give even the sawants, chopras & seths run for their money! And no her expression on the song “zara zara kiss me kiss me, zara zara touch me touch me” was no where cute, least that it could be called would be “raunchy”. When asked, who taught her these steps, the gal smilingly replied “mummy”.

These are some of the scenes from those numerous kids’ dance reality shows which were airing on almost all channels last Sunday. Not that I hated all of it, some of the performances were damn cute and some kids were extra ordinarily talented. Such amazing performances at such young age! I also appreciate the maturity of some of the judges who know how to deal with kids.

But then what makes me wonder is the content of these programs along with the presentation and personality of most of the kids. I mean do gals really aspire to be item gals in life now? In 30 minutes, I listened to more than 60 boys saying that they want to be choreographer in life, has choreography really become such a hot profession? And what’s with these mommies and daddies crying along with their kids when they are not shortlisted in just a dance reality show? How are they going to prepare their kids for larger level competitions and real life challenges in life? Haven’t parents become over ambitious and want their kids to achieve everything at that age only? At such tender age if kids feel pressurized by one goddamn dance competition and can’t accept their loss, I have no idea how are they going to deal with actual hundreds and thousands of tests in life ahead! Frankly speaking, an hour in front of the television viewing those programs was to a large extent upsetting!

Life goes on???

February 5, 2010
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, … 365. 365 days i.e., 1 full year without him. Its 5th February today, the fateful date when Kishu left us forever exactly an year back. Whole day today I’ve been trying to maintain my composure at work & divert my mind from thoughts of last year but as the day is drawing to an end, I can’t help myself from remembering that one phone call which came on 5th evening and changed our lives forever. I don’t think I can manage words to express my pain & angst against this day, the shock of last year and the agony since then… And what surprises me is the fact that we all are living without him, for last 27 years not even a single day used to go without talking to him and now its 365 days that I have not heard his voice but still I’m alive…life is going on…happily or unhappily, willingly or unwillingly… something which was unimaginable till last 5th, now is an accepted truth. An acceptance which has been enforced on us very brutally, how brutal it is can only be explained by the lonely eyes of my mom, the insecured eyes of Kaushik or the forever frightened and depressed heart of mine! As I write this post I feel strange, more than sadness, it’s perhaps anger against the unjust…

How selfish we human beings are, we learn to live without a person, without whom not even a single moment was imaginable. Yes, I do feel guilty whenever I have laughed in last one year, I do feel strange whenever I realize that our life is going on without Kishu but then I wonder did I have any other alternative than surviving through this? Seconds, minutes, hours, days, months and now one year of his absence from our lives, the absence which can never be filled by anything or anyone ever again…with each moment we miss him more & more & more…for we know that now we will never be able to see him again…

Wish you a very happy new year!

December 30, 2009
Hmmm…last day of the year and last post for my blog in 2009…I remember writing a post on 31st Dec for this blog in 2008 as well. 2008 was bad, really bad as it was the year when Amitesh Bhaiya had left us forever but then the optimistic in me thought that next year will be fine. I had wished, prayed and hoped that 2009 would be better for us never to know that 2009 would actually turn out to be the worst year of our life till now as 2009 is the fateful year when fate snatched Kishu from us very brutally and callously! They say – all that happens is for good…well not really. I don’t think there can be any good in losing Kishu and Amitesh Bhaiya from our lives forever. Life will never be same after Kishu & Bhaiya. The days are passing on but certain losses are irrevocable and some pains can never be healed. You just somehow willingly or unwillingly learn to live with it. Some incidents do make you succumb to your fate and do break your belief towards so many aspects of life…now I don’t even know whether I should hope for a better 2010. Yes, the strong optimistic in me has slowly-slowly died with time; the staunch faith has faded away. Now I only know one thing – jo hona hai woh ho ke rahega.

Had read this beautiful poem by Shri Bachchan which describes my some of the thoughts so aptly now, we keep on hoping for something better, something new but then again hota wahi hai jo hona hota hai aur din beet hi jate hai jaise-taise…

लो दिन बीता, लो रात गई

लो दिन बीता, लो रात गई,
सूरज ढलकर पच्छिम पहुँचा,
डूबा, संध्या आई, छाई,
सौ संध्या-सी वह संध्या थी,
क्यों उठते-उठते सोचा था,
दिन में होगी कुछ बात नई।
लो दिन बीता, लो रात गई ।

धीमे-धीमे तारे निकले,
धीरे-धीरे नभ में फैले,
सौ रजनी-सी वह रजनी थी,
क्यों संध्या को यह सोचा था,
निशि में होगी कुछ बात नई।
लो दिन बीता, लो रात गई।

चिड़ियाँ चहकीं, कलियाँ महकी,
पूरब से फिर सूरज निकला,
जैसे होती थी सुबह हुई,
क्यों सोते-सोते सोचा था,
होगी प्रातः कुछ बात नई।
लो दिन बीता, लो रात गई,
– हरिवंश राय बच्चन

With these thoughts, I would end my post by wishing all my readers a very happy & prosperous new year. Hope the next year brings more sunshine to your lives, have a great year ahead! And please do pray for me and my family to have a peaceful 2010…

Vandalism of Mumbai Wall Project

October 27, 2009
It was just Sunday when I was admiring the pictures of “Wall Project, Phase -II” shared by my Mumbai friends on Facebook, Twitter etc and within a day I get to read about vandalism of those lovely walls! This was actually a joint initiative of BMC and Mumbai citizens where a number of people turned out to paint and beautify the wall running along Tulsi Pipe Road, between Mahim and Matunga in Mumbai. Wall project as a concept has definitely grown noticeably since its inception; in fact what started just as an idea by a group of few enthusiastic people to do something to one of the compound walls in Bandra has become a large scale city wide beautification project now. Not only this is an interesting way of transforming the city walls, it is also an innovative way of preventing them from turning into a spittoon or cuspidor. I have personally seen this project on walls of Lalbaug, Bangalore and it’s simply awesome. I’ve been commuting on the same road daily for many months now but after those paintings are done the whole area has got a different vibrancy & liveliness altogether.

As a part of this initiative, BMC started the second stage last weekend where whole lot of bright and lovely pictures were painted by the citizens of Mumbai, some were based on alphabets whereas some had interesting messages. My personal favorite ones were “म से माँ” or “Ghar Ja ke Kar” :-). You can check the whole collection here. But within a day, all hard-work & efforts of citizens were just scrapped by the promoters of the movies Aladin, Gair & London Dreams. They didn’t even think twice before pasting the movie posters all over those painted walls!!! If you look at before & after images of the walls, you just can’t refrain yourself from a feeling of disgust and appall towards this insensitive sabotage.


Citizens are angry and rightly so at this step of movie marketers which has resulted to an outrage all across social media against this inconsiderate act of promoters. Many people have decided to boycott these movies. Seeing the repercussion, few actors and other associated people have apologized for this act and instructed to remove the posters, but the question is will removal of pictures solve the problem? Won’t those paper posters leave paste marks on the paintings? And how about their attitude or approach towards cityscapes? Isn’t it highly insensitive to go ahead and paste them at the first place? On one hand we have such bunch of enthusiastic people who spend their weekends towards enriching their cities and on other we have such thoughtless bunch who didn’t even think twice before ruining it. And no, I do NOT think that it’s the mistake of those poor poster guys who had stuck those posters, they have just executed what was instructed to them; it was surely the mistake of the planners who would have decided on the areas for their poster campaign. Also on second thought, in an OOH & hoarding dominated city like Mumbai, do we really need to spoil any wall (be it painted or plain ones) now for movie promotion??? Well, there are definitely more interesting mediums available for movie promotion than spoiling the beauty of your own city…

Blog Action Day – 2009: An Inconvenient Truth

October 15, 2009

OMG, I totally forgot that it’s 15th today; in fact I had already started a post for this day but then left it mid-way with an intention to wind it up on the actual day. So, here I am with my bit for this year’s Blog Action Day on Climate Change.

On this day I would like to contribute my bit with yet another movie recommendation to all my readers. Yea movie…well with movies good thing is that you can always find one to suit your mood & occasion – be it romance or break-up, glee like wedding to dread like terrorism, national issue like girl child to global one like climate change. This year’s Blog Action Day has been dedicated to Climate Change and on this day I strongly recommend all my readers to watch the movie “An Inconvenient Truth” of Al Gore. This is surely a must watch for all those who are aware or would like to be aware of the term global warming & it’s effect on our climate and surroundings.

“An Inconvenient Truth” directed by Davis Guggenheim is a 2006 released documentary film about former United States Vice President Al Gore’s campaign to educate citizens about global warming and inspire them to take action…Here are 5 key reasons why you must not miss this movie at any cost:

  • This is a very well presented movie which has dealt with the issue of global warming in a totally different way.
  • It is not just a documentary or a story of despair but rather a real cry to protect the one earth we all share.
  • Even if the movie does not disclose the root cause of this burning issue but it does reveal some interesting figures & amazing insights on global warming which hits you hard enough to think more & more.
  • A cinematic food for thought, this movie is having more suspense than many thrillers and more emotion than many dramas. Most of all, it’s scarier than any horror flick and what shakes you deep within is the fact that this horror is not fiction or fantasy, it’s for real!
  • It is one of those movies which not only got great response from viewers & reviewers but got thumbs up from many film critics too. In words of famous film critic Roger Ebert: “In 39 years, I have never written these words in a movie review, but here they are: You owe it to yourself to see this film. If you do not, and you have grandchildren, you should explain to them why you decided not to.

So, in case you’ve not watched it till now, I urge you to grab a copy of it soon and give it a try. I’m sure you’ll have a different perspective of environment & climate once you’ve watched this movie.