– Dreamer, Doer, Mother, Marketeer
When everyone is busy putting up their year-end summary, next year’s goals, party plans, holiday pictures, just take a moment to pause, breathe, and embrace silence.
A few moments of quiet are all you need in life at times.
When it all seems too overwhelming when you can’t help but notice others’ lives and when you can’t avoid the noise, just pause and embrace silence.
When you’re confused, embrace silence.
When you’re lost, embrace silence.
Read More
Think beyond emotions. But why?
Think beyond emotions. I have heard this often. And I wondered why?
If it wouldn’t have been emotions, I wouldn’t have been me.
If it wouldn’t have been emotions, I wouldn’t have been with you.
There was a time in my life when I used to counter this statement (which is generally thrown at you more like an allegation) with proofs about my logical side of the brain, with pieces of evidence about my rational personality but now I just say –
“Wish more people in this world would have started their conversation with ‘I feel‘ as against, ‘I think‘.“
And this is not just for personal life, I stand by it in my professional life too. I am a marketer by profession and a major part of my work involves product and marketing. Now, need I say more about the importance of the right part of the brain in my work along with the left?
If it wouldn’t have been emotions, I wouldn’t have understood user pain points.
If it wouldn’t have been emotions, I wouldn’t have understood empathy.
If it wouldn’t have been emotions, I wouldn’t have been passionate, be it relationships or my work.
Emotional Intelligence is not just a buzzword and EQ is not a mere hype anymore. These are realities and core competencies after which many organizations are running these days.
Something that is so important at the leadership level, I wonder why it is not taught from the ground up? Why it is not a part of the school curriculum or parenting journals?
Why am I even writing a blog post on it, something that I don’t think need to be justified to the world? Well, it’s a conversation between my 7-year-old son and some folks recently that instigated me to write about it.
Something happened in a group of these 7-8-year-old kids and my son as well one of his friends started crying. There were few other grownups who were trying to pacify the boys to the best of their abilities. While I appreciated their concern but couldn’t help myself from noticing a few repeated sentences for the boys like –
“Don’t be so emotional, stop crying like girls”.
“Don’t be so emotional, these things happen”.
Something in me snapped. I totally understand their good intention but for a child whose mother is as rock strong as me, comments like “don’t cry like a girl” are nothing but meaningless. What do people even mean when they say – “don’t cry like girls”?
But the larger concern that I had was this repeated mention of “don’t be emotional”. I mean why? The boys were injured physically, to add to that they had been bullied, why can’t they cry? What’s so wrong about feeling bad on being cheated and bullied?
At a very young age, they are being told to shun out their feelings, at a very young age they are being rebuked for expressing their emotions. At a very young age, they are being told that emotions are for girls only and boys are supposed to be this never-feel, never-cry, never-empathize creatures!
I just so wish that right from the start we pay attention to the “feel” as much as the “think”.
Here’s to my boy, other boys, me, and others who listen to such comments often –
It’s perfectly fine to be emotional.
It’s perfectly fine to express emotions.
And it’s perfectly fine to experience negative emotions along with the positive ones.
What is not fine is to keep these emotions bottled up inside.
Feel, express and most importantly, learn to manage your emotions.
Cognition is important but what is more important is to understand and acknowledge the interlink between cognition and emotion.
Before I sign off, would leave you with one of my favorite videos by Susan David. If you like reading more about emotional agility, you will love this one.
Hello January and hello 2019! I know, I am late and it’s already more than one week into January but then it isn’t still that late to wish you all a very happy new year. Hope your first week of 2019 was full of energy and zeal.
Speaking of zeal, I often wonder what is so special about January that makes everyone plan new things this month? Isn’t it just another change of date? Another flip (or swipe, in case of digital) in the calendar? But the more I think about it and the more I observe everyone around me, I love the magic that January brings along with it.
The magic of new hope and new beginnings
The magic of starting over again
The magic of new dreams and new desires
The magic of thinking afresh again
The magic of positivity and passion
The magic of believing again.
Indeed January is magical, for it brings an amazing amount of enthusiasm and fervor around us. I love how everyone gets busy making new plans, setting up new goals and deciding new milestones in their personal and professional lives. Even though half of those goals won’t be met, but I still love the fact that we at least try for newer things again.
As Meister Eckhart says,
“And suddenly you just know it’s time to start something new and trust the magic of beginnings.”
So, what are the new things you’re planning to do in 2019? Ok, may not be new and I agree, it needn’t be new but how about thinking on – how would you like this year to be for you?
Do think about it and list down a few points for yourself this January. It will help you reflect on the year went by when you will sit and think about 2019 on 31st December 2019.
Chronicling helps, trust me on that :-).
On that note, wish you all a very happy January. May the magic of January continue throughout the year and may your new beginnings be beautiful and bright. Have a happy twenty nineteen!
None of these are new, we all know but somewhere these get buried down in our daily humdrum of life. 2017 was a year that once again reminded me…
But technically my doctor was correct – one should smile more often and smile while you still have your teeth intact 
On that note, wish you a 2018 full of love, laughter, and fun! Cheers to new beginnings and new dreams. Have a fabulous year ahead!
Speaking of books or reading, one question that I often get asked is — do you still read fiction? On replying yes, the next question generally would be — how do you find time to read fiction or why do you read fiction? The answer is pretty simple — I read fiction because I like it. I read fiction because there is nothing more enriching than a good story. I read fiction because:
Fiction reveals truth that reality obscures — Ralph Waldo EmersonRead More
From being a voracious reader to a reading enthusiast — that’s how my reading habit got changed when I started working and entered into other phases of personal life. For last two years, despite all my sincere intent to read more, at best I could manage to read only 12–14 books an year. This was lot less than what I used to read earlier. So, when I ended up reading 19 books in last one month, I was quite pleasantly surprised with myself. At least there is something good out of this hospitalization and being-on-bed phase of life, I am getting time to read and paint more. See, I am trying to look at the positive side of any situation :). No, I mean it in all seriousness; first month on bed was too painful with surgery, stitches, fractures and what-nots. To add to that, weird thoughts kept on floating in my mind throughout. So, after few weeks when my hands got freed from stitches, the first thing I did was, picked up a book. One book after another and soon enough I was engrossed in reading like earlier. It only added to the reading charm that not only I was getting to read the books that I wanted to read but I also got some amazing books as gifts from friends.
But I am all free these days, so what’s the big deal about reading 19 or any number of books? Well, it’s not the number or the titles of the books but the way I am reading that makes me think more on my current reading habits. You know the kind of reading that we used to do earlier, engrossed in words, lost amidst the pages, the kind of reading that brings you calm and cognitive stimulation, the kind of reading that you do mindfully. My recent readings have been all of that.
So, what did change this time?Read More
I think this will be a long post but I must write it. Was in two minds whether to post it here or not but considering I am only active on Medium these days, it had to be posted here only.
So, I think the pressure to always ‘think positive’ is too high these days.
The pressure to always ‘feel happy’ is too high these days.
The pressure to have a ‘perfect life’, rather project a perfect life is too high these days.
And, the pressure to be always ‘cool & confident’ is just too high these days.
I mean, you express a moment of worry or weakness to anyone and here you go, suddenly everyone is ready with a quote on power of positive thinking and optimism and how it’s your thought that’s responsible for all the miseries in your life and… well, you know all those “ands”, as I am sure you get to listen to it as much as I do Read More
It’s been more than a month now.
Medically speaking, I am recovering and much better than that day.
That day when people gathered around me, lying in a blood pool weren’t even sure if I was alive.
If I was alive, would I survive?
If I survived, would I be fine and normal again?
Many ‘ifs’ and ‘buts’ that suddenly clouded our life within a fraction of second. That second when our car met with a fateful accident on Chennai — Bangalore highway.
Was it an accident? What was it? I try to recall the details often but everything, oh so vague! Husband and my brother were seated on the front seats of our Ecosport while me and my 5 year old leisurely sprawled on the back seat. Something happened and even before we could realize, the car hit the left divider and then the right and then toppled once, twice….was it the third time when the locked back door broke and I got thrown out on the highway? Was it just then that I managed to push my son further inside and save him from being thrown out? What exactly happened at that time? It was all blank for me, sort of a weird white in front of my eyes. I hear from others that the car toppled perhaps multiple times before it skidded to a halt. No one remembers the count. The only thing I know after seeing the pictures of our car or talking to police and doctors is that I am thankful that my family is safe and I am alive. My son, husband and brother got some bruises and I even though critically injured, am still thankful that I am alive!
What all did I experience at that moment or that day? Perhaps I will take some more time to have the courage to jot it down. It’s all scattered and jumbled up in my mind but keeps coming back to me in multiple formats.
Dealing with bad accidents or trauma is not new to me. Like many others, I have had my own share of lows and brutal misfortunes in life. Though this time, something has been incredibly difficult to deal with and something that’s not fading with time.Read More
Build where you own the land, distribute where the audience is....
Two consecutive calls with two close friends, who run small businesses...
Distracted. Lost. Anxious. Blank. Worried. Dazed. Oh, this feeling of nothingness....
Recent Comments